Horrors of Gaming: Super Hydlide

Legend of Zelda, THIS IS NOT IT! In fact, Super Hydlide is everything you don’t wish in a great game (think about that statement, and let it marinate).

Super Hydlide Cover
Looks epic, doesn't it?

I was unfortunately “acquainted” with this game during the mid to late 90’s, when EB Games (Electronic Boutique) was still around. It was a time in my life and probably for many other gamers lives when we would go to a video game store and visually would pick out games we never heard of that looked at the time “epic” or “badass”,  searching for that thrill and excitement of finding that “Gem in the Coal Mines” that many of us have found in other great games,  only to come to an awful realization that left a very bad taste in my mouth for years to come. Looks can be deceiving, and companies that wanna make that “easy money” will do whatever it takes to advertise and sell their craptastic games to the masses. So, Fool me once, Shame on you… fool me twice Shame on me…. Sword of Sodan was the “Shame on Me” part at that time. (Luckily I wasn’t alone to experience the Horrors of these Games!)

First off, dying in a game you just started playing (literally) is never a good thing, and a BIG sign of worse things to expect later on. Normally the player gets eased into games from the start to teach the basics and get acquainted with the mechanics and feel. Super Hydlide has NO Structure, NO MERCY. Aside from the long boring intro they display after the title (made me pity the game) you start off right  in the town, free to wonder off…. into your doom. That’s certainly NOT My idea of an adventure. Ok, so lets say you like that kind of game play right off the bat. You quickly realize you don’t have a weapon but you have 2k to spend on one, that’s when you decide to buy the biggest baddest weapon available in the shop. You equip it and walk out… only to realize your character ISN’T MOVING, or walking extremely slow. Wait what?! Oh, I’m sorry.. the weight of the weapon is beyond your weight carrying limits. Now you have a USELESS weapon and no Money…. and

Super Hydlide
This is going to go nowhere FAST.

You CAN’T move unless you dispose of the weapon. *Ahem* WELCOME TO SUPER HYDLIDE!  The Game where there’s “good” monsters, and bad monsters (whatever that means). The game where a clock has a day & night cycle, in which if you don’t eat or rest, you will start the process of the character’s deterioration and death. Oh Gee Thanks! Now aside from worrying about good and bad monsters jacking me up like I owe them money, not being able to equip or carry any item that goes over my characters ability to use his muscles, and being broke cause I spent the money on a weapon that I couldn’t carry anyway, I gotta worry about feeding my character so he doesn’t die… Oh and I’m still broke. I’m pretty sure that if I worked on carrying enough rations I wouldn’t make it cause it would be to heavy to carry. There are just TOO MANY things to worry about and not enough enjoyable aspects to the game.

Super Hydlide
What the hell do yo think??

I’ve YouTube’d the game and people have beaten it. Kudos to them, especially if they played the entire game and beat it just for the challenge. But I’m sorry ( not really), I can’t condone a game such as this nor will I spend countless of wasted hours when I can spend that time playing REAL games that stimulate my imagination and are truly worth my personal time. Oh, did I mention that the character also crouches down? Ask me why?… Exactly. There are several character classes. It doesn’t matter tho, cause even if GOD was a playable class he would still get owned at the start, wouldn’t be able to carry “heavy” things and would die from not eating, but at least he would be able to crouch down! I’m too busy dealing with real life to be then playing Hydlide and having to deal with similar issues in game. I completely understand what the developers where trying to accomplish. Trying to be different, setting the bar high with elements that parallel real life situations. WRONG!! Too much too soon!!

I can go on and on on how horrifying Super Hydlide really is, or you can download an Emulator with the Rom and play it for yourself, or just take the easy way out and watch my video consensus on it. With that said; well played T&E Soft, for making trash look good on the box and cartridge, making me spend my hard earned black market prostitution money on it.

Well Played.

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