Great tans. Hot bods. Timeless games.
Spring time is synonymous with none other than Spring break. Yes, America’s college-aged demographic have looked under every ratty sofa cushion, maxed out their $500 credit card limit (with a 29% APR mind you), and bamboozled their parents in thinking that this trip is “girls only”. All while dieting to the point of famine and sculpting that beach ready body. After 45 days of “saving” and “dieting” the youths will lather themselves in sun tan lotion, and travel to a less than exotic locale and engage in the buffoonery that will lead them to debt, bad choices, bad tattoos, a likely STD, in what they will describe, a rite of passage.
Gaming World United is here to celebrate this rite of passage and give you the Top 5 Spring Break video games.
Number 5: Wave Race 64
Spring break isn’t all about boozing and sexing, it’s also about the water sports. Jet skiing is among the most popular water sport activities. For $50 you can put this sleek machine between your legs and cut through the waves like a bad-ass. No skill required. Wave Race 64 was actually a very good game. Most 30’s plus gamers remember Nintendo EAD’s F-Zero, as a futuristic racer. It was perhaps Miyamoto’s best take on the genre. Wave Race 64 was EAD’s successor and killed it. Wave Race 64 was once described as the best racing game by Nintendo Power while IGN gave it high marks at 9.0 and most of us agreed because nearly 2 million copies were sold. In the time of arcade racers this game definitely made its own waves!
Number 4: Just Dance
It’s not too hard to make parallels between Spring break and dancing. There’s nothing like inebriated-Spring breakers showcasing their spastic moves. Excessive drinking often make the ill-coordinated tackle the dance floor, endangering those around them with projectile limbs. All those hours spent in dorm rooms playing Just Dance, perfecting those moves, will finally pay off come Spring Break. Just Dance has become a staple in our household and in households across the globe! Ubisoft has struck absolute gold with this series becoming the second most lucrative series behind Assassin’s Creed. Perhaps Just Dance 2015 isn’t going to turn you into the next Fred Astaire but it might be the jumping off point to the next great flash mob!
Number 3: Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
Spring break is all about the destination and there isn’t a place that oozes Spring break more than Miami. Miami offers the glitz and glam with trendy high-end clubs, beautiful people dressed to the nines, and fancy vehicles and lavish yachts. But don’t fret my low hanging fruits, Miami also offers any ratchet shit you might be into too ( South Beach is ratchet AF!) The GTA: Vice City cover says it all but the game is a well-rounded shit-show that portrays Miami and all of its culture. From the cocaine epidemic to the aforementioned glitz and glam, Vice City is the rotten spirit of Spring break. Ray Liotta stars in this sinfully fun video game that received all the accolades from critics and gamers alike. Vice City is often referred to one of the best games for PS2. Make sure to Purell after playing.
Number 2: Dead Island
If Miami is not exotic enough for you, maybe a tropical island off the coast of Australia will please the pallet. Miami is a blast but I much rather go to a place more tropical and less beaten, maybe Tulum, Culebra Island, or Lombok. That’s how MRWW rolls! But please beware; some of these exotic places can be dangerous. Brazil is still suffering from Zika, Venezuela is in the midst of a civil war, the Fyre Festival doesn’t actually exist, and the island of Banoi is just dangerous. In what has become one of the greatest genres in entertainment, Banoi sets the stage in the zombie survival horror/RPG, Dead Island. Dead Island didn’t do all that well with critics, citing, technical issues and bugs as the culprit but the game featured an open world, melee style gameplay in a beautiful yet terrifying environment. It was innovative and despite the issues, it was solid! With that said, please visit the CDC and International Alert websites before booking your next trip. Fist pumpers, Snook-alikes, and other assholes Spring breakers, travel without caution, you’ll be fine!
Number 1: Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball
Beach, swim suits, beautiful women, volleyball and physics! The unconscious mind knows that physics is an integral part of attractiveness and DOA Xtreme Beach Volleyball was hyper-focused on getting it right. Sure, one would think that Tecmo would put their efforts in the physics of the ball, rather they chose to focus on the human anatomy. But let’s get real, that’s exactly what Spring breakers are doing, ogling! This game wasn’t made with any sense of artistry or aspirations to be a respectable game. This was an old school, Japanese hook to lure in pre-teens, teens, young adults, and old farts alike. It was spank bank material at best and in this game, like in the beaches in Miami or Cancun or whatever sex craved destination you can imagine, the bank deposits must be withdrawn. Spring break is all about the travel, the booze and the sex, making Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball the best Spring Break game EVER!