Best “Events” of 2016!

The new year is well on its way and there’s so much to look forward to. Perhaps it’s a bit of the consumerism in me but it seems as though every month there’s an event to get excited about. In chronological order, here are my top events for 2016:

Super Bowl – February 7th

I know gamers and sport fanatics are sometimes on the opposite side of the spectrum but with fantasy sports, that divide has lessened and joined the two groups in holy matrimony. #jocksvsdweebs

Last year’s Super Bowl was watched by 114 million viewers. The most watched single telecast in American history. That is more than a third of the country’s population. Bananas! Amazingly, 1 in 3 people watched the Patriots versus the Seahawks. Disgracefully, 1 in 3 people watched Katy Perry frolic around with a giant mechanical lion singing her pop hits “Teenage Dream”, “Fireworks”, and “Roar”. A travesty.

Super Bowl has become a cultural phenomenon, one built on different practices. So whatever you do; an ultimate Sunday funday, scavenger hunts, a grilling party or a run of the mill bar crawl, please join in on what is becoming a national holiday!

Oscars – February 28th

The nominations were released just a few days ago and Twitter in its normal fashion blew the fuck up like jihadists in coffee shops. The twittersphere was smattered with #OscarSoWhite complaining about the lack of the diversity in its nominations.

Now the Big Boss has made it abundantly clear that there should be no talk of politics but I’m Mr. Worldwide and I welcome a suspension from time to time. It gives me the opportunity to travel. I WILL NOT BE MUZZLED! I WILL NOT BE CONTROLLED BY THE SUIT! With that said, Twitter-fucks and your mob mentality, it’s not the Oscars that is SO white, it’s Hollywood that lacks diversity. It is Hollywood that is completely and shamelessly homogeneous. Pick a fight with the right group.

Oscars have a surprisingly great group of movies up for awards starting with a movie I’ve raved about here on GWU, Mad Max. Mad Max has the second most nominations with 10, 2 behind The Revenant. I’ll definitely be at an Oscar party snacking on patè, caviar, and something tar-tar. #OscarSoBougi

Wrestlemania – April 3rd

Professional wrestling isn’t all about men in tights, steroids, and muscled dudes with long hair. Wrestling, though sometimes hokie and though sometimes ridiculous, is a particular brand of sports entertainment. One which constitutes of great physical feats, questionable acting, and a shit load of testosterone.

Wrestlemania is the Super Bowl of wrestling. All the other pay-per-view events (or $9.99 monthly subscription to WWE Network) have led to this one wrestling extravaganza. Last year, the event featured Sting, The Rock and Rowdy Ronda Rousey.

This is the main event with the top wrestlers, with the loudest pyrotechnics, the biggest stage and brightest spotlight. Legends are made here.

Royal Rumble is coming soon and it will really set the stage of Wrestlemania. Will Roman Reigns still be the champ by then? Will New Day, Usos, and Lucha Dragons top their TLC match? Will we see Lesnar vs. Owens? #wrestlingrag

Blockbuster Season – Summertime

Last year, the big screen killed it with a never-ending smorgasbord of blockbuster movies. It started with Furious 7 and continued through the Summer with Mad Max, Jurassic Park, Avengers, Mission Impossible, Ant-Man and Terminator. Kiddies and women also benefited with Pitch Perfect 2, Minions, and Inside Out.

Holly(White)Wood has made Summer blockbusters a tradition and 2016 is no exception. The season will start a bit early with Deadpool in February and Batman vs. Superman in March but the season will be in full force in May with the premiere of Captain America followed by the likes of Angry Birds, X-Men, TMNT, Finding Dori, Independence Day, Star Trek, Suicide Squad, and Ghostbusters. #amcgiftcards

Stream TV – All year!

Even more exciting than Summer blockbusters are streaming shows. Netflix has lined up several shows that are outright addictive and have people scratching their arms and pacing around, consumed by the idea of their next hit.

House of Cards, Daredevil and Orange is the New Black are among the top on everyone’s list but lesser coveted shows like Narcos, Bloodlines, and Jessica Jones have a great number of people salivating as well.

Netflix isn’t the only streaming company in on this original programming business. With HBO and Showtime “now” in the game and Hulu making strides, we also have shows like  Game of Thrones, Veep, Girls, Homeland, and Golden Globe nominee Casual all on the digital queue!

Amazon get your shit together and make an app for Apple TV. #netflixandchill

Fall Games – The Fall

With the fall of leaves came the rise of gaming and some great releases but this deserves an article all to itself. #cliffhanger

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS 

Grammys – Call me that old foggie that doesn’t appreciate the newfangled terms and sounds of today but the Grammys have lost some of its luster as I’ve progressively strayed away from pop music and culture. Besides, I don’t feel like watching Adele collect every single award including Best Rap Artist of the Year.

March Madness – Probably the second most exciting sporting tournament. MLB, NBA, NHL, step up your game. As much as I like filling out the brackets and joining the office pools, there’s something skeevy about knowing how much money is being made on the backs of teenage boys.

Summer Olympics – Talking about making money on the backs of the underprivileged. Brazil will host a heck of a sporting event and the slums of Rio De Janeiro (favelas) will never look as bad

2016 Presidential Election – Again, no politics. #fuckthesuits

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